Clockwork

Auggie has certain things timed. I’m told he starts to get very antsy before I get home – running around and hovering by the door, waiting, because he knows I’m due home any minute. He definitely knows when dinner time is (sometimes even better than I do – he’ll be doing the Dinnertime Dance and I’m like “Dude, calm down, it’s not time for – oh. Oh yes it is. Sorry.”)

But the strangest thing he has timed… is knowing EXACTLY how long he has to fool around outside and make it back up to the stairs once I’ve said “If I have to come get you, you’re in BIG TROUBLE – okay, you’re in BIG TROUBLE.” The dog somehow has it timed. He knows how long it takes me to threaten him, turn around, go slip my shoes on, grab my coat, and step back to the door. Because it NEVER FAILS. I get my shoes, grab my coat, and open the door… and he’s standing there innocently like he’s been waiting the whole time to come back in.

I don’t know how he does it, but this is a skill he has perfected.
And I hate him for it.